If you happened to know me in real life, and for whatever reason, you were asked to make a list of all the places you would expect to find me at, the gym would figure pretty low on your list, unless your list isn’t an ordered one, in which case what’s the point? Physical activity is just not something usually associated with me.
I’ve always been more on the skinny side. While laziness makes some fat, it has kept me from it. I can eat quite a lot at times. Usually though, laziness keeps me in check. In school, the walk from the table to the serving counter was long enough to put me off. Being somewhat of a germophobe, I always had to wash my hands before I ate, and washing my hands was too much trouble, so I didn’t eat a lot of times I wanted to eat.
Although saying I have social anxiety would be taking it too far, whatever the word for a person who is the opposite of a person who has social anxiety is, I am certainly not that person. Walking my weak self into a room filled with some of the finest physical specimens without a clue where and what to start with (me without a clue, not the physical specimens) was a daunting prospect. However, the fact that a friend nobly accepted the challenge of training me, and with the gym being pretty close to empty for almost three months (university vacation) helped. I stepped into the gym for the first time.
Something that I hadn’t anticipated about gym was how much time would be spent not doing anything. All the waiting between sets and drudgery on the mills can sometimes get boring, even with the sexiness of Deepika Padukone grooving on the screen (although, with the TV on mute and the speakers playing a different playlist, she doesn’t sync well with the soundtrack). You’ve heard of shower thoughts, get ready for gym thoughts. But that’s a bad line, because shower thoughts are typically musings on life in general, just thought of in the shower, while these are thoughts pertaining to the gym (and I confess, not all thought of in the gym). Rambling over.
- Contrary to popular belief, the aim of skullcrushers is not to get your skull crushed. They’re for your triceps. Misleading name.
- Fun practice: After your last set on a machine, set the weight to the maximum, freaking out the next person and making them feel inadequate. It also helps if you’re really skinny and don’t look you could do even half of that weight.
- Although the machine is named abuductor, what you do on that is one of the last things you’d want to do if you were abducted. See image below for reference
- It’d be great if you could get the really fit people out of the gym. Make another one for them or something, I don’t care. I just wish I didn’t have to look at people who keep twenty kilo plates between their knees during pull-ups because they’re too strong for their own bodies while I’m still on assisted pull-ups.
- When carrying out number 4, please leave behind just enough people who know what their stuff so they can save me from breaking my back and ending up in worse shape than I started off with. Thanks, Praneeth.
- We built machines so we didn’t have to run, walk and could avoid all physical exertion but ended up having to build even more machines because we don’t run, walk, or exert ourselves physically.
- Some of the gym equipment is really comfortable, if you don’t exercise on them
- Despite 7 though, the person who designs all those machines would do very well inventing torture devices. Although you might argue that these are torture devices
- After the first day of hitting the gym, it felt more like the gym had been hitting me. Real hard.
- I overestimated by ability to come up with content, and had to resort to this fluff point to round up this post