Robb Stark vs Jaime Lannister: Discount Rap Battles of History

Robb: Maester Luwin, would you call forth my banners
I’m going to march South to teach this false knight some manners
You’re a disgrace to that white cloak that you wear
And your arrogance surpasses your warfare flair
When I’m done here, there’ll be no comeback for you to make
You’ll choke on my verse, like Joffrey on his wedding cake
You know, that’s some striking family resemblance I see
I’d make a blonde joke but you’ve already made three with Cersei

Jaime: Don’t talk about honour, you got shit to say
What about that promise you made to Walder Frey?
Speaking of family resemblance, you look a lot like Ned
Or maybe it’s just the fact that you too lack a head
I hear the North remembers, and that’s a good thing
Because we’ll be teaching it a lesson they shouldn’t be forgetting
In short, your long march down isn’t worth the trek
We’re gonna strangle you, like a Roose around your neck

R: Silent erection: lusting for the queen on the low
Whispering Wood: a “crippling” blow
You got limb trouble now, call it karma
Pretty little boy’s first scratch on the armour
You should quit this battle now before you charge into another blunder
Run back home, Kingslayer, find a Rock to hide under
Now your father, he was a great man, so I’m told
But he had his hand so far up your ass, what, was he fishing for more gold?

J: I feel with your track record, you shouldn’t bring up war-talk
I mean you lost an entire one with a thrust of your cock
And sure I killed the king I was sworn to protect
But I saved an entire city, a fact you conveniently forget
Now I don’t pay for sex, I get mine for free
But here’s three stags we owe you, for fucking up your entire family

 

If you liked this, also check out my (pretty bad) Stannis vs Renly rap battle, 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s